I do not like conflict. For those who know me well, that may be a surprise. My tendency is to dive right in. But I have one memory burned into my mind from 4th grade. The popular thing at school was super ball collections. Those bouncy little rubber balls became the heart's desire of every 4th-6th grade boy at my small Christian school. I had one that was my prize possession, a beautiful, multi-colored ball. I had taken a pencil with a missing eraser and pressed the ball onto the top so I could stare at its glorious beauty while I did my school work. One day, it disappeared. Not long after I saw a 6th grade boy with it and I called him out for his thievery. It was beautiful and multi-colored, with a hole made by the top of a pencil. My friends backed me up and he gave it to me. Later that day, I looked in my desk and discovered I now had two identical multi-colored super balls with a hole in each one. He hadn't stolen it after all. I had falsely accused him and humiliated him in front of our whole group of friends.
But I thought the problem was only the ball. I found a way to privately pull him aside, give him his ball back, and apologize. But he didn't seem as excited about the apology and return of his ball as I thought he would be. I didn't know it at the time, but what I should have done is made the apology as public and broad as the accusation. The biggest pain the other boy experienced was the humiliation of the false accusation and I hadn't fixed that.
I didn't like writing what I did yesterday about Goshen College. I tried to nuance what I said as carefully as I could. I know shining a light on this problem can hurt innocent people. My greatest fear is that as other voices join with mine that these voices will be careless and reckless in their accusations. But I have also known that my story is not alone and some have experienced significant harm. I have been surprised by the number of comments and private messages I've received that resonate with my concerns. I see the injustice that is put upon current and prospective students as the college lives in that disconnect between its public face and what it really is.
I am not trying to force Goshen College to change its identity. Maybe the board, the administration and faculty will decide to make some changes. That is up to them, but it's not a battle I feel called to lead. But I do want to force greater clarity so that the campus story and the public story are actually the same story. I want to name the perspective and demagoguery so that parents and prospective students make an informed choice about their education. For years I tried to overlook these realities and be supportive. But the cost of silence has been too high and I can no longer remain quiet.
-John M Troyer
But I thought the problem was only the ball. I found a way to privately pull him aside, give him his ball back, and apologize. But he didn't seem as excited about the apology and return of his ball as I thought he would be. I didn't know it at the time, but what I should have done is made the apology as public and broad as the accusation. The biggest pain the other boy experienced was the humiliation of the false accusation and I hadn't fixed that.
I didn't like writing what I did yesterday about Goshen College. I tried to nuance what I said as carefully as I could. I know shining a light on this problem can hurt innocent people. My greatest fear is that as other voices join with mine that these voices will be careless and reckless in their accusations. But I have also known that my story is not alone and some have experienced significant harm. I have been surprised by the number of comments and private messages I've received that resonate with my concerns. I see the injustice that is put upon current and prospective students as the college lives in that disconnect between its public face and what it really is.
I am not trying to force Goshen College to change its identity. Maybe the board, the administration and faculty will decide to make some changes. That is up to them, but it's not a battle I feel called to lead. But I do want to force greater clarity so that the campus story and the public story are actually the same story. I want to name the perspective and demagoguery so that parents and prospective students make an informed choice about their education. For years I tried to overlook these realities and be supportive. But the cost of silence has been too high and I can no longer remain quiet.
-John M Troyer
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