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The One Thing That You Still Lack... (The Continual Discovery of My Self-Righteousness)

2/23/2015

 
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I'm pretty messed up and it runs deep. I find a way to refuse to engage, and I've become pretty sophisticated at it. This is about me being an Evangelical Anabaptist who believes it's important to tell people about Jesus yet refuses to tell people who don't know Jesus about Jesus.  Let me take you through this latest journey of my own self-righteousness.

Last week at Revive Indiana, Kyle Martin broke down and asked over and over again. "If you know it's important to tell people about Jesus, why don't you just do it?" His words pierced through me and I knew the Holy Spirit was speaking directly to me. 

When Revive Indiana first came here, I was very much on board. I went out with groups three times (I knew the exact number because I was proud of it). But in those outings, there was always a sense of fear about having an encounter and relief when I didn't need to engage with those who don't know Christ. In my first outing, the encounter was with someone who had said yes to Jesus but had significant physical needs.  So I got to do acts of service for her. That I knew how to do.  In the second outing, we only met up with a conservative Mennonite who owned a business. We prayed for his business. That I knew how to do. In the third outing, my disobedience kicked in.  I saw a man looking at some used books in a store. I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to talk with him. I said a few words but I never pushed further to continue the conversation. And I put him out of my mind and told no one about him.

Then I stopped going out with groups over the next several weeks. I thought I always had really good reasons, but the bottom line is that I didn't do it because I didn't want to. So I stayed busy with critique. As an Anabaptist, I was sure I had some things to offer to help keep everything in line. I believed that we (Mennonites and Amish) were needed in this revival because we were the ones that knew how to suffer and abandon all for the sake of the Gospel. We were the ones with the rich heritage from the Reformation in which we suffered through tongue screws and drownings and fire. But that little thing of opening my mouth with an unbeliever?  I wouldn't do it.  And nobody had to put in the tongue screw.

I challenged other Mennonites to show up at Revive Indiana, while I showed up with my physical presence only.  I told people that going out with teams during the day is where the revival is really at. But I didn't join any teams.


In forty years, few will remember who won sectionals in northern Indiana. But I do believe that in forty years people will remember the revival that started in Indiana in 2015. Will you look back with regret or be grateful you had the opportunity to participate? This is not about working hard, it's about showing up and finding the flow of the Holy Spirit. There's a week and a half left, come and see what it is. Enter into what God is doing.
-John M Troyer
Kathy Miller
2/22/2015 11:42:02 pm

Thanks for being "raw." I have these conversations with myself a lot and I know it's because I hunger to get out of my comfort zone of serving but not telling. "Stretch me Lord."

Bob Miller
2/23/2015 06:14:50 am

I would submit you are being a little hard on yourself John. You have witnessed to and influenced many, many youth not to mention adults in your ministry. I will go out on a limb and say it is not everyone's gift to go out on the street and witness to people we have never met before. We all need to be a witness for Jesus Christ in some way, perhaps that is not the way for everyone. Don't get me wrong, I think God has done an amazing work through Revive Indiana and in no way do I want to take away from that. But I do not believe we can or should judge one's Christianity, faith, or committment on one's involvement or lack there of with Revive Indiana. There are many different paths God has each of us take to do his will. You have a gift of ministering to youth, you are a great writer, very intelligent person. I Corinth 3:6 "Matt planted, John watered, but God has been making it grow"! Rejoice in the gifts he has given you and use them to His glory!


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