Seven Perspectives on Marriage and Orientation (It's Not As Binary As You Think)

This is a hard and confusing conversation to have, and throughout my life I've messed it up many times. As a young man, I was not equipped to have this conversation and I deeply hurt people who were simply struggling to make sense of their sexual identity. Even after 25 years of intense study and conversation, friendships with those who struggle, and better awareness of preferred language; I am standing on shaky ground when I talk about this.  I have reached a point where I do believe I am developing a deeper understanding of all seven perspectives.  

The weight of choosing a moral perspective creates a great burden for some to carry. At the center of all I believe and am is Jesus Christ, his teachings, and the sacrifice he made on the cross.  As sin is named, there is a cost that we as believers are also called to carry on behalf of each other. That cost is all of ours to bear, in all areas of our lives, not just sexuality. Grace should be present, and harsh judgment should be absent. At the same time making any moral declaration, no matter how nuanced, will be heard as harsh and judgmental to some.  Grace can also be quickly mistaken for affirmation, and leaders are left in a very difficult place in the midst of a deeply polarized conversation.  As a result, many leaders refuse to speak directly to the questions that are asked, leading to further distrust and separation. Language quickly shifts, complexity is reduced to two sides, and the most extreme views highlight the negatives on the other side.  

The first matrix below helps identify how these perspectives answer two questions.  I am personally committed to the Costly Discipleship perspective.  I believe that leadership from the Unity perspective is not ethically consistent and its effect is to split the church in two.  Leadership from the Costly Discipleship perspective will be most effective at drawing the church together under a common vision and direction. In another post I will say more about why I believe what I believe.

The table at the bottom gives more detail about the seven perspectives on marriage and orientation.  Another version of this table has been passed around in Mennonite circles that does not include the Unity perspective.  I added that column, and also changed some of the wording from the original to better reflect what I have heard in conversations I've had. I'm not an expert with html coding, so this table is the best I could do.  You will need to scroll sideways to see all of the perspectives. 

This is a very quick summary, and I recognize that there are more nuances that could be placed in them, that some may not fully embrace the language used to describe their perspective, and that simply outlining this may be offensive to some.  I am focusing conversation in the comments to suggestions for better and fairer descriptions of perspectives. I will not approve comments that argue for a particular point of view.
-John M Troyer

	Condemnation	Promise of Healing	Costly Discipleship	Unity	Pastoral Accomodation	Affirmation	Radical Inclusion
Ethical Stance	Focus on condemnation of homosexuality	Homosexuality is a sin, however healing can occur through prayer, fellowship, and therapy	Homosexual orientation is distinguished from homosexual practice. Homosexual behaviors are sin. Same-sex orientation is not sin.	The issue of ramaining one church is more important than an ethical stance on homosexuality	Homosexual acts are not God's ideal, but a same-sex monogamous relationship is a better alternative than sexual chaos.	Affirms same-sex marriage as positively good.	Full embrace of inclusion and affirmation in society for all-lesbian, gay bisexual, transgender, gueer and any additional labels that may be adopted.
Biblical View	Scriptures that condemn homosexuality and emphasize judgment for sin are the only source for understanding	Focus on scriptures that name homosexuality as sin and the promise of the transformed life and miraculous healing.	Focus on scriptures that name same-sex activity as sin, with hope for healing and the recognition of a "thorn in the flesh."	Scriptures are complex and a clear, unified stance on homosexuality is not needed. However, scripture is clear that loving dialogue and unity are a requirement for every Christian.	Homosexual acts are not sin but essentially imperfect.	The absence of Biblical material about homosexuality in the ten commandments, the prophets and the gospel are a sign that non-affirming texts should not be followed	The biblical focus is on the struggle against oppression and domination. The sin of the church is the lack of inclusion and affirmation of different sexualities.
Socio-Psychological Role	Any psychological perspective or sociological perspectives are rejected as promoting non-Christian worldviews.	Healing occurs through prayer, counseling, and discipleship.	Accepts current state of sciences, but recognizes there is much to be learned. Orientation is complex and cannot be reduced to simple causes or methods of healing.	Accepts all perspectives and emphasizes the importance of everyone being part of the conversation.	Humanity makes moral decisions and acts within a context of ambiguity. Sometimes judgments involve the lesser of two evils.	Same-sex relationships can be the same as heterosexual relationships.	The heterosexual majority should not dictate how LGBTQ persons should behave, including the ideal of monogamy.
Leadership And Polity Questions	Others who do not embrace this perspective are not being faithful. Leaders should take action to enforce rules that discipline those who disagree.	Discipline around issues of variance from agreed upon ethical statements is needed.	A shared Confession of Faith provides the core of denomination and area conference participation. If members reject it, they should be asked to leave.	A shared history provides the core of denomination and conference participation, especially those from the majority ethnic group. No one should be asked to leave.	Makes room for variance from the Confession of Faith while continuing to hold it as a standard of faith and practice. Focuses on being a family with a shared history.	Focuses on allowing for variance until the official stance changes to affirm same-sex marriage.	Others who do not embrace this perspective are anti-gay homophobes. Affirms full inclusion for all and disciplines those who disagree.
Clarifications	No distinction between homosexual orientation and homosexual acts.	Focus is more pastoral in tone with a confident proclamation of hope through recovery ministries.	Faithful discipleship may mean many things, but does not include homosexual behavior.	Faithful discipleship means valuing diversity and alternate views. Dialogue is ongoing with no need for resolution.	A monogamous, same-sex relationship can be morally tolerated.	Advocates for full acceptance in society and the church including ordination for ministry.	Makes a parallel between racist and anti-gay. Those who disagree should be shamed and punished.

Adapted from work by:

L. R. Holben's What Christians Think about Homosexuality: 6 Representative Views
Dennis Hollinger The Meaning of Sex
Clyde G. Kratz 

Final editing
John Troyer reworked many of the definitions, added the Unity view, and developed the welcome-marriage matrix

Below is a jpg of the table for printing.