This past few days I have seen God work in ways that I have longed to see for many, many years. On Friday, one of the young men in our youth group had his faith renewed and received the full indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Yesterday he went with a team of people to pray for our community and received a clear call and path to find and pray for a young man walking along the road and helped lead this young man to say yes to Jesus. Some friends of mine whose son has struggled with allergies and eczema received miraculous healing through the prayer of faith.  Yesterday, I was able to be a part of a team that was uniquely equipped to care for a sweet Christian lady who is experiencing intense pain and loneliness. These are just some of the stories of some of the people I know. Hundreds more are daily experiencing these divine appointments and healings in their workplaces and through intentional prayer in the community. People are seeing visions of God's favor and blessing resting on this community.

God is at work. Revival is happening in Northern Indiana. In this revival, we are seeing "fruit in keeping with repentance." We are seeing not just the sorrow of letting go of things of the past, but also the joy of new life and witness. We are not just seeing people who embrace the boldness of sharing faith with words, but people who are also sharing life and sacrificing on behalf of others. We are seeing not just conversion stories, but intentional follow up and walking together as disciples of Christ. We are not just seeing people from one background, congregation, or age, but people from all ages, backgrounds and walks of life. 

This movement is not the movement of  people who do everything right, who carefully plan their way forward. It is a movement of courage and challenge and mistakes. It is a movement in which we brush up against the denominational preferences of others and they rub us the wrong way. It is a movement in which cultures clash and our language is clumsy. It is a movement which will frighten some, anger some, and create barricades. But in the midst of this movement is the power of God at work to transform and do something new. 

We will see a backlash, a renewed effort to assign labels meant to discredit what is happening. But at its heart there is a simple return to the power of Christ's living presence and the desire to fully yield one's life in His service. I am ready and willing to serve.

Some of the numbers: Since a week ago, several hundred are going out each day in teams and praying for the community. The number gathered for worship each evening has been growing and is currently around 2,000. The intention is to continue doing this for a total of 52 days. 
-John M Troyer

The last few days I have been reading The Secret of the Strength by Peter Hoover.  I've been moved by this compilation of quotes from original Anabaptist sources and the challenge to be fully yielded to God. I was introduced to this on Sunday in my congregation when an Amish couple came as guests of our church and shared their story of renewal.   Here is the quote that was shared on Sunday:

This couple came to our church because they helped start a gathering of churches seeking renewal in Northern Indiana.  If you get a chance, I invite you to follow the links to read the book for free, to watch message from the Amish couple, and to learn more about what God is doing in the Northern Indiana community.
-John M Troyer 

On January 5 the Executive Board of Mennonite Church USA released the results of a survey of credentialed leaders within the denomination. These survey results were released in December to credentialed leaders and these are Matt Hamsher's reflections on the results.  This is a longer post than usual, but provides a good entry point for some of the pertinent data. The survey results can be reviewed in their entirety at the following link: http://www.mennoniteusa.org/survey-results/ -Editor

For evangelical third-way Anabaptists (neither liberal nor conservative), the survey results are disturbing rather than encouraging. Here’s the bottom line that most people will be most curious about: 45.5% of all credentialed leaders in Mennonite Church USA who responded to the survey believe that “LGBTQ individuals” who are celibate or in monogamous relationships should be eligible for leadership credentials in the denomination (this includes 19.5% who think leadership roles should be open to LGBTQ individuals without any conditions, including the expectation of monogamy, but more on that later).[1] I am greatly concerned that this large of a percentage, even if still in the minority, will move many more moderate and conservative congregations to leave MCUSA rather than stay and work for reform and renewal.

I would be inclined to disagree with the congregations who will exit if it were not for the broken (or perhaps even non-existent) system of authority and accountability within the denomination. 40.7% want area conferences or congregations to be centers of authority (i.e., being free of relational accountability to members of the denomination beyond their own conference or congregation) and 23.4% responded that the current structure is satisfactory.[2] If congregations and conferences can make their own decisions regarding credentialing outside the counsel of the wider church and there are no serious consequences[3] for breaking their relational commitment to the wider church, then there is no possibility for accountability at the denominational level. One cannot work for reform through the structure of the denomination if there is no avenue available to do so.[4]

In addition to these two major outcomes, there are a number of other interesting observations that can be made in relation to the survey results.
 
1. Many advocates of same-sex marriage have maintained that no matter what stance one takes on whether the church should bless same sex marriages we share a common teaching against casual sex and reserving sex for committed monogamous relationships. However, when almost one in five credentialed leaders (19.5%) responded that “LGBTQ individuals should have opportunities to serve in leadership roles without conditions” like being celibate or in a committed monogamous relationship,[5] we can no long make this assumption of shared convictions about monogamy. There is more at stake here than how the church responds to those who experience same-sex attraction.

2. Ohio Conference is one of eight area conferences that had at least two-thirds of their leaders opposed to LGBTQ membership.[6] Yet Ohio Conference, unlike other conferences with similar convictions like Lancaster, New York, Franklin, and South Central has not been represented by our conference leaders in organizations like Anabaptist Renewal Circles which has sought to bring reform and renewal from within MCUSA. How are we being represented in wider national conversations with other conference ministers and at the Constituency Leaders Council? It is true that anyone can report, for example, the results of the vote at our special delegate this past August, but shouldn’t the majority of our credentialed leaders actually be represented by leaders who share their views rather than merely attempting to describe them accurately?

3. One of the failures of denominational leadership since the inception of MCUSA has been in trying to continually “widen the tent” and include as many people as possible in the denomination.[7] Perhaps we are too insecure and afraid of declining attendance to think of saying “no” to those who have defected to the liberal and fundamentalist camps. Yet, trying to appease the ends of the spectrum has led to a loss of a missional identity, a loss of a clearly articulated sense of who we are and how that is different from either political option (left or right, liberal or fundamentalist) in our current politically and culturally polarized context. While those in the fundamentalist camp have tended to find reasons to leave over the years, liberals have instead hidden their true commitments or not been held accountable for them and have worked to gain control of communication agencies and educational institutions in the church, leading MCUSA to lurch toward cultural accommodation on the left. We are now faced with a choice not between left and right but between left and center.

If denominational leadership wishes to find unity in the church, the survey results actually offer a pretty straightforward way to do so. Only “15.9 percent are willing to support LGBTQ inclusion even if doing so results in membership losses for the denomination.” On the other hand, 43% of those who support the current teaching position of the church represented in the 1995 Confession of Faith in a Mennonite Church are willing to do so even if it results in losing members. This leaves 41.4% who said they “desire to find a way to live in unity within the diversity that exists in the church.”[8] In other words, denominational leaders have a fairly clear choice to keep 57.3% of the church together (by changing the Confession of Faith) or to keep 84.4% of the church together by maintaining the current teaching position of the church. I guess we will see if we really believe in unity or only when calls for unity serve to protect the pursuit of individual and congregational autonomy.

4. Another common canard of advocates for LGBTQ inclusion is that the church needs to change its teaching position on human sexuality or risk losing future generations of youth and young adults. If the inevitability of a change in generational attitudes were so certain, one would not expect to find that “the least support for LGBTQ membership is among those between 36 and 45 years of age” (45.2%).[9] While I would concur that it is not surprising that support for membership for LGBTQ persons is highest among 18-35 year olds (65.8%), given the incredible power and pressure of secular media and secular LGBTQ rights efforts, the fact that the second highest percentage of support comes from those between 56-65 may hold a clue to another reason why this is so. Many of those between the ages of 36 and 45 were educated and mentored into pastoral leadership during a time when a majority of professors and pastors still held (and taught and modeled) the current teaching position of the church. Many 18-35 year olds, however, have been educated and look to persons in the 56-65 year old category as role models, who are currently teaching and hold positions of influence in the church. Rather than assuming the inevitability of younger persons becoming more and more progressive in their views, the survey results may instead point to the need for greater accountability for those entrusted with the spiritual formation and education of our youth and young adults.
 
5. I was disappointed to see that there were only two short paragraphs included in the Executive Summary describing “Perspectives of People of Color” and nothing in the survey results itself. Very little concrete information is given about the responses collected from the additional interviews conducted with representatives of six Racial/Ethnic constituency groups other than the statement, “in general, their responses regarding affiliation and the future of the denomination paralleled the responses of Group 1 in the earlier analysis of area conferences (those area conferences where less than one-third of leaders supported membership for LGBTQ members).”[10] Is there a danger that the voices of people of color are being ignored or minimized when they are not identified or fully reported?
 
6. Finally, I have a few concerns about the language used in the survey and the report of the survey results.

a. The belief and teaching that marriage is the only appropriate arena for sexual intimacy and that marriage is defined as being for one man and one woman for life is the current teaching position of the church as well as being the historic teaching position on sexuality. To only use the adjective “historic” implicitly implies that it is only a position taken in the past or elides the fact that it remains the teaching position of the church, at least until the delegate body would decide differently.

b. Questions about membership assume a common understanding about membership that may not in fact exist. One might, for example, be open to local congregations making pastoral decisions regarding membership that respect where an individual might be on their journey toward Jesus. So, an LGBTQ individual in a monogamous relationship might be accepted into membership, even as the church continues to witness and teach that same-sex sexual intimacy is contrary to the will of God. A more important question might not focus on same-sex attraction and identity at all, but rather what membership means.

c. The options for “a preferred future for the organization of Mennonite Church USA” seem limited to hierarchical or anarchical options. There was no option listed that supported recognizing that the delegate body is the highest authority in the denomination and could decide to exercise accountability through the discipline of area conferences. I suspect that this is why 25.2% marked “Not sure” in their response.[11] It seems to me that this is a fairly high percentage to not have an opinion or be unsure of the kind of organizational polity MCUSA should adopt. I also wonder how many of the 23.4% who indicated that the current organizational structure is satisfactory did so because they like the dysfunctional system we currently have or if they did not like the other options that were presented. If there is one question in which we could have a “do-over” it would be this one, with three options: authoritarian leadership with authority heavily invested in an Executive Director and staff and in the Executive Board, a lasses-faire model of congregational autonomy, or a model that calls for giving and receiving counsel and accountability equally at every level—between individuals in a congregation, congregations in a conference, and conferences in a denomination.
 
In conclusion, I share the disappointment and sadness of many other evangelical Anabaptists in MCUSA in seeing the concrete results of the survey. The survey results are not good news for the direction of the denomination—“73.9% of active and active-without-charge leaders in the Church Member Profile 2006 stated that homosexual relations were always wrong,”[12] meaning that we have gone from about a 75% consensus to an almost 50-50 split in less than a decade. What will the next ten years hold?

If there is any hope to be found in the survey results, it is that they may serve as a wake-up call to those who value unity but are reticent to exercise accountability. What is at stake is not who can be a part of the church, but whether there is any accountability for leaders and teachers for our common commitments that we hold together. To continue on the path of pluralism is to accept a definition of unity through human effort rather than Christian unity which can only be found in the Holy Spirit’s leading us to common convictions. To continue to refuse to exercise accountability will only continue to erode our missional identity and water down witness we can offer to one another and the watching world.
-Matt Hamsher

[1] “Executive Summary,” p. 1. 19.5% without conditions + 26% in monogamous relationships or celibate = 45.5%.
[2] “Appendix I: Tables 10-32,” p. 4. Totals in Table 13.
[3] See “Report from the Executive Board of Mennonite Church USA” (June 30, 2014) in which the only decisive action taken by the board was to refuse to recognize Theda Good’s credential and not including it in the denominational database (Action 3, p. 2). The other actions merely “call,” “ask,” and “request” actions on the part of Mountain States and other conferences even when the Executive Board clearly recognized that Mountain States “failed to honor the relational covenant that they made with the other area conferences when they joined Mennonite Church USA in 2005” (Action 2, p. 2). The most appropriate use of authority for the Executive Board would have been to temporarily suspend the membership of MSMC until they returned to the covenant they made or until the delegate body had opportunity to take action.
[4] Of course, there is still the option of being a prophetic voice calling for repentance and renewal in the church and it is a noble calling. However, it is not clear that the most effective way to do this is to remain part of a pluralistic denomination that lacks avenues for accountability.
[5] “Appendix I,” Table 11, p. 2.
[6] “Executive Summary,” p. 2.
[7] The Purposeful Plan was breath of fresh air and a notable departure from the usual approach and sought to lead from the middle rather than being held hostage to the liberal and fundamentalist wings of the denomination. Unfortunately, one of its fatal flaws was the emphasis on “resourcing over regulation,” (lines 785-805) implicitly adopting a negative connotation to accountability that was cited in favor of not exercising authority in the “Report from the Executive Board of Mennonite Church USA” (June 30, 2014), p. 2.
[8] “Executive Summary,” p. 2.
[9] “Executive Summary,” p. 2.
[10] “Executive Summary,” p. 4.
[11] “Appendix I,” Table 13, p. 3.
[12] “Final Report,” lines 270-271, p. 7.

I will be taking a break from daily posts over the next few weeks to change some things on the blog and to give some shape to the next chapter.  I value any comments and feedback about what you've valued and would like to see continue. Feel free to comment below or to email me directly at [email protected]. 
We have now had 71 blog posts and 30,000 pageviews over the last 2 1/2 months.  Thank you for reading and sharing with others as it has been helpful to you.  I look forward to re-engaging on a regular basis again in a few weeks.
-John M Troyer

When I was fifteen, I was pretty sure I was living in dark days. I had transferred to a  new school, and there were only four of us in high school. None of us wanted to be there, and as a result we didn't treat each other well.  Toward the end of the year, I stopped caring. I was desperate for things to change, and I became openly defiant and disobedient at home. I would sneak out of the house to go with friends while I was grounded, ready to do all the things I had avoided. I started shoplifting even though I had the money in my pocket to purchase things. 

One night at G.L. Perry Variety Store, the manager detained me at the door and my life changed radically. I was arrested and taken to the police station. The hardest call of my life was to ask my parents if they would come and pick me up. This began the dark days of shame, facing my community and being forced to work through it with them. I wanted nothing more than to be able run away and start over somewhere else. However, the best thing for me was that I had to stay and work it through. 

This has formed an important ethic in me. I believe in finishing well, in not burning bridges. I am so grateful that I stayed another two years to work at relationships before I was given permission to find a new church. I've had a number of difficult moments in the years since my arrest. In each, I was able to draw on that earlier time to stay true to my calling in the midst of my failure. 

Changes and new beginnings are a part of life. But we can do our best to end well, to leave with integrity, to tend to the relationships that will be altered. Do the hard work of saying good-by. Recognize that people will be hurt and angry, but keep your own integrity in the midst of it.  It's in those moments that our character and resolve will be tested. People will try all kinds of things to push us into a reactive mode.  But it is those moments that define us, that reveal our inner resolve and strength. Then when it's time to move, move as quickly as possible and plant in the new place.
-John M Troyer

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There's a blog post circulating on Facebook about the role of the default parent, the one who takes care of everything for the family. She (it often is the mom) makes sure the kids are taken care of in every way possible, while the backup parent "helps."  I am grateful for all that my wife does, but I have some confessions to make.

When we first got married, we decided that I would do the laundry. I was fine with that idea. But after two months of marriage, I realized I was never doing the laundry. My wife brought it up, wondering why I never did it. My response? I never got a chance to do it. Every time I turned around, she was doing another load of laundry, as often as once a week. That is excessive. You see, as time-saving bachelor, I bought enough underwear, socks, shirts and pants so that I had no need to laundry for an entire month.  I had three full loads of laundry to do, once a month. After I finished, I went back to living the good life. I never did the laundry when we got married because I never ran out of socks and underwear. That never worked for her because she only had one week before she ran out.

But I think it's us backup parents that save the world. If our children never encountered an adult as helpless as us, they would never learn to take care of themselves. There is something beautiful about the way my ten-year-old takes charge of breakfast, lunches, and getting ready in the morning when my wife is gone. Or with the way my five-year-old gets to pick out some amazing outfits to wear to school. (That only sometimes works, because my ten-year-old will step in and nix some of the outfits he chooses.)

We are the ones that do the dirty work of missing appointments, forgetting to brush the kids teeth, having cereal for supper, and giving kids lots of free time because we never get them signed up for anything. And if we do sign them up, they still get lots of free time because we forget to take them.  We teach our kids boundaries and putting other people's needs ahead of their own as we absolutely insist on privacy in the shower and to wait for the commercials during football. We help our kids learn the consequences of not putting things away as we have no memory of where anything is in the house. If they lose it, we don't know where to start looking and they're just out of luck.  

We are at our best when the default parent is gone for the weekend. There is only one rule, don't make a bigger mess than you can clean up yourself. Because as the backup parent, there is no way we're cleaning it up for you. We carefully lose the instructions on how to make our meals, and then have McDonald or Papa John take care of us. The house and kitchen still becomes a wreck and then we flurry around before the default parent gets home to hide all the signs of our irresponsibility.  We've been there when things fell apart. And amazingly, they don't fall apart.

We are backup parents because every kid needs a backup. They need a chance to fail, knowing that there is someone behind them that will help them get up. We know that tears are okay when things don't turn out, not something to be avoided at all costs. Being the backup means that our children are learning responsibility, experiencing consequences, and finding out what it means to take care of their own needs. They keep track of their own schedules and make sure we get them there on time.  We carry our role with pride. As one backup parent to another, we rock.

Now, before you judge me for my pride in being a backup parent, this is satire. As a backup parent, sometimes I exaggerate a bit. 
-John M Troyer

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In the book of Revelation, John is given a vision of what God is doing in the world. It begins with warnings and affirmations for seven churches. How do our churches in North America measure up today? Here are the 19 characteristics of the churches of Jesus Christ

1. Deeds, hard work, perseverance, endurance of hardship
2. An intolerance for wicked people, testing leaders and not being afraid to name them as false teachers.
3. An openness to poverty and suffering.
4. Faithfulness in the face of blasphemy.
5. Loyalty in a satanic, occultic place
6. Not tolerating leaders who teach that sexual sin is okay and participate in idolatry
7. Constant improvement.
8. Trusting God to judge and to work at identifying the intentions of the heart in those in leadership.
9. Keeping the simple teachings and rejecting those who try to teach "deeper truths" (which are really of satanic origin)
10. Difficult obedience which results in great authority.
11. Holding on to what was given.
12. Maintaining its first love for God.
13. Hating the leaders who lord over others, and loving those who serve.
14. Strengthening the inner life.
15. Repenting of wrong, strengthening what is good.
16. Being useful
17. Not counting on acquired wealth.
18. Opening the door for the living presence of Christ
19. Listening to the voice of the Spirit

These 19 things are a powerful reminder of how self-serving we have become in North America. May God help us repent and receive new life.
-John M Troyer

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When love is in our hearts, separation is possible. When the father loved his prodigal son, he gave him what he needed for his journey. When children leave to get married or further their education, loving parents support them as they go. When church members leave as missionaries, a loving church releases them to their calling. When we disagree with each other enough that one is not content to stay, the path of love is to help each other part ways in the best way possible.  It is only inorganic systems and cancerous systems and incestuous systems that insist that the only right and holy path is staying together.

On Saturday, Gulf States Mennonite Conference voted on whether to leave Mennonite Church USA. They needed a two-thirds majority to pass. It failed to pass with 60% voting in favor.  This is similar to the vote in Ohio Conference back in August. Their resolution asked Mennonite Church USA to remove Mountain States Mennonite Conference from the denomination if they did not reverse their decision to license Theda Good. That resolution also needed a 2/3 majority and failed when it received 62% in favor. 

There is a trend where a majority in some conferences are clearly rejecting the path denominational leaders seem to want to take which allows for diversity in blessing of same-sex marriage. These leaders are not listening to that voice nor are they helping create space for the more conservative voices to find a connection with each other.  The current path of avoidance and emphasizing unity is not conducive to what is best for the church at large. We need denominational and conference leaders to work together at branching into two denominations. We are not well-served by the current trend of trying to keep everyone in as if the problem is the people at the extremes. 

We could become a wonderful model of handling conflict well, an alternative to the scorched-earth policies taken by mainline denominations as they make leaving as difficult as possible for their congregation. As Anabaptists, we were the recipients of these kinds of policies in the formation of our faith tradition.  Today we don't face physical death and torture, but we do experience the assassination of character and maligning of motives from those who advocate for unity at all costs. When our denomination pursues a path that rejects its formation documents and considers a major change that embraces sexual diversity, the gracious path is to help each other find what we need and strengthen each other along the way. That includes the space to leave well when a group finds changes to be unacceptable. 

I would propose that those conferences like Gulf States that need a new kind of denomination come together and begin conversations about what a new affiliation might look like. Perhaps it wouldn't mean two denominations at first, but it could be the birthplace for a new identity to help these conferences continue to move forward together. It is important that the conference leaders carry themselves with integrity in this process.  In Ohio Conference, a clear majority voted in favor for censure of Mountains States. If conference leaders there disagreed with that resolution, then that vote is a clear indication that new leaders are needed for that conference. 

We need this from our leaders. We need this now. It is a step of courage and beauty. It is the right thing to do.
-John M Troyer

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In the spring of 2013, I was working in my garage and I noticed something wasn't right with my eye. I blinked, hoping that would correct the problem. I went inside explore further and discovered I had lost about half of my direct vision in my right eye. There was a grey half-circle that was blocked out. I was scared and wanted to immediately find out what was going on. I was able to get in that afternoon with an eye specialist, and she gave me an initial diagnosis of Central Serous Retinopathy. It's a temporary blindness that usually afflicts men because they're under too much stress. The best treatment was to reduce stress in my life and hope it heals up.

I was a little upset about the cause. I wasn't stressed! How could this happen to me? But I learned from that experience to look more closely at the early warning signs and take action sooner. Because of that experience, I pay careful attention to my left shoulder muscle. Once it starts to tighten up, I know I need to change course. It has become my stress thermometer.

The interesting thing about stress is that it is not directly tied to the presence of difficult things, it is about how we carry difficult things. I've also noticed that too much caffeine also heightens the effect of stress on me. But the core of my struggle is the question of faith. I carry what I believe others can't carry and what I won't let God carry. And when I do that, burden begins to weigh on me. Prayer and reflection on God's provision are the ways I release that stress. Frustration, anger, and resentment live as a cancer inside if I keep them as friends. Doing less, living more, and noticing the world around me helps me see the way God is shaping my life rather than being a victim of my circumstances.

My blind spot disappeared after a few months. I still have a small line that never healed, a mark that has become a gift to me. I can rest. I can live well, no matter the challenges. If I don't, I lose my vision.   
-John M Troyer                    

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When I talk about the division of a denominational institution, it's easy to jump immediately to the assumption that I am dividing the church. No denomination is the church. The big C Church is the people that are gathered around a real relationship with the Holy Spirit. When the institution becomes primary, that's when things begin to break down.

Institutions can be helpful. They're like buses, cars, ships and planes. When people hear God asking them to move together in some effort, it makes sense to get organized. But the church is never the mode of transport, it is the people inside. When our allegiance shifts, we shame each other into doing what we want. We lie and hedge the truth for our ends. We shame into silence with an attack others' character if they speak up. We work as silent allies so that we can rescue those within who we believe are victims of bad theology or ethical understanding.  We want the bus to be full even if the people on board don't like the destination.  So we make it hard for them to exit or we leave them stranded alone, isolated from others they might join.

Some are saying that the answer for Mennonite Church USA is to shift to a congregational polity. This sentiment is supposedly rooted in the idea of giving each other the freedom to follow Christ in whatever way it makes sense for each congregation. If that were truly the motive, then this sentiment would not be coupled with a fierce emphasis on loyalty and unity as a denomination. A true polity of congregationalism would do its best to help those with differing points of view join together and go their separate way. It would help them exit gracefully at the next bus stop and help them find a new ride. Congregations will bless same-sex marriages and ordain pastors in same-sex relationships. But when they do, and when they begin to determine the direction of our institutional bus, it's time for many of us to get off that bus. The attempts by those with the unity perspective to shame leaders for leaving is a sinful and diabolical attempt at manipulation and control. It is inconsistent with the congregational polity they claim to hold. It needs to stop and should be named and exposed for the abusive and ungodly use of power that it is. It is the spirit of Constantine, not the Holy Spirit.

I love Mennonite Church USA. But I love the people in it even more. It's time to help us separate well.
-John M Troyer

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